Ah, humans.
We are complicated beings. We can inspire and encourage, frustrate and agitate. I try to be on the inspire and encourage side more than the frustrate and agitate side. If I were a professional baseball player, I’d be headed to the Hall of Fame – but as a normal human I’m, well…human with (at best) a 50% track record. We all have our moments in both.
I do a good amount of traveling which presents me with an opportunity to engage with a variety of people. Many are kind and helpful, others seem to be looking for ways to punch my buttons – the TSA agent who yells at an elderly person who was clearly confused and uncomfortable taking off his shoes. When I said, “I think he’s having trouble hearing you and is not able to bend down to get his shoes off.” He responded with “Oh, are you a new hire or just wanting to tell me how to do my job?” I wanted NOT to be detained so I just moved on, hoping that he would embrace some humanity.
Not too long ago, I would have gotten myself locked up by engaging in a debate with someone who was not going to listen to me. With hindsight, I wish I had just turned back to the passenger and asked him if I could help him take off his shoes. If I had paused a bit longer, I might have done that. Instead, I kept moving, avoiding confrontation with someone who could have negatively impacted my travel.
I’ve been working on a longer pause during experiences. It’s so helpful when I imagine a couple different outcomes, visualizing what they might be and then deciding which one to engage.
Boyd Varty, author of The Lion Tracker’s Guide to Life, talks about clean and dirty pain. Clean pain is when you stub your toe. Dirty pain is when your inner voice says “See, you are bad, mean, unworthy.” The dirty pains can accumulate over time and no longer serve us. The result of the dirty pain is that we feel stuck. So how do we find ourselves out of it?
For me, it’s by pausing and asking myself, “Is the action I’m about to take one that would make me happy, energized and a part of humanity when I reflect on it in a week?” When I do that, I feel like an older, wiser part of me is in charge and is helping me prevent messes created by knee-jerk reactions.
So, as I look down and see my backpack, half packed for next week’s travel, I added a sticky note that says “Hey, Becky, pause.” It might seem silly or a little thing – but for me, simple gets done and just like at work, I’m trying to use tools that help me work smarter and align with my core values. Thanks, Post-it Notes, for helping me remember to pause.
– Becky Sharpe, CEO
